Overcoming Limiting Beliefs: How to Stop Holding Yourself Back
- Zoe Molnar
- Aug 25
- 4 min read
Updated: Nov 9
Learn what limiting beliefs are, see examples, and use a 5-step method to overcome them so you can move forward with clarity and confidence. |
The truth about feeling “stuck”
If you feel as if you are pressing the gas and the brakes at the same time, a limiting belief is likely in the driver’s seat. It once kept you safe. Now it keeps you small. The issue is not discipline but a familiar story guiding your choices.
This guide explains what limiting beliefs are, how they form, and a simple 5-step method to begin overcoming limiting beliefs. I see this pattern every week with clients. Sharing it here is my way of helping beyond my sessions — so you have something clear and practical to start with.
If you prefer guided support, I offer it. We will choose what serves you best, and I will bring the right tools for you: a mini plan, boundary scripts, micro-experiments, etc.
What is a limiting belief?
A limiting belief is a repeated thought that quietly sets the rules for what you are allowed to want, do, or become. The hard part is that it sounds reasonable. It masquerades as logic and keeps you repeating what feels safe. Familiar does not mean true, and it rarely creates new outcomes.
Examples (from client sessions, anonymised)
“It is too late for me to change careers.”
“I am too old to start over.”
“I should be further along by now.”
“If I speak up, I will seem difficult.”
“I must choose between being a caring parent and being ambitious.”
“People like me are not good with money.”
“If I cannot do it perfectly, I should not start.”
“If I set a boundary, I will disappoint people.”
“People like me are not good at business.”
“If I change, I will end up alone.”
If any of these ring true, you are not alone. Most of us learn these patterns early and carry them quietly: fear of being seen, either–or thinking, inherited money stories, and the perfectionism that makes movement feel risky.
Safety first, not success: why beliefs stick
Your nervous system remembers what once protected you and it will choose familiar over new every time. Familiar feels safer, asks less energy, and reassures the story you know about yourself. This is understandable. The good news is that anything learned can be relearned and updated.
The 5-step method to overcome a limiting belief
You can do this solo. Most people move faster with a “watcher” — a coach or trusted person who helps you notice patterns and stay kind and honest while you work.
1) Name it precisely
Write the belief in one clear sentence, in quotes, first-person, present tense. No metaphors. Example: “If I say what I want, people will leave.”
Reality check: Where did I learn this. When does it show up. What triggers it.
2) Find the hidden payoff
Every belief protects something. Ask: What does this belief spare me from. What do I get to avoid. Common payoffs: rejection, pressure to deliver, conflict, loss of control. Offer yourself compassion. It once served you.
3) Check the data
Write three recent facts that support the belief and three recent facts that challenge it. Add one situation where it did not hold.
Goal: see the belief as a story, not a law.
4) Write a truer, braver belief
Create a replacement that is credible and action-oriented. It should feel a bit stretchy and still doable today.
Old: “If I say what I want, people will leave.”
New: “When I am clear about what I need, the right people support me. If someone does not, I am okay and I can handle it.”
Test it: does this belief give me a little relief and a little energy.
5) Prove it with a tiny experiment
Beliefs change when behavior changes. Choose one 10–15 minute action you will take within 48 hours that would be true if you already believed the new thought.
Use an implementation intention: If [trigger], then I will [micro-action] at [time/place].
If my update meeting starts, then I will ask for clear scope in one sentence.
If I send today’s email, then I will include one direct ask.
If I quote my price, then I will state the real number without padding.
Debrief (three lines): What happened. What did I learn. What will I try next.
Share your new belief and experiment with your watcher.
If you want company for the next step
Start with a free call to name your belief and choose one micro-experiment for the next 48 hours. If we continue with coaching, we will create a tailored 7-Day Starter Plan and a Belief Map, plus the tools you need to keep overcoming limiting beliefs in daily life.
Need Support?You do not have to do it alone. Coaching is where we make this real—at your pace, in your voice. →  |
Common mistakes to avoid
Being vague. If the belief is fuzzy, you cannot change it. Name it.
Arguing with yourself. Collect evidence instead. Curiosity beats debate.
Trying to fix everything at once. One belief plus one experiment each week wins.
Relying on affirmations alone. Pair the new belief with action.
Skipping your nervous system. A short grounding practice helps your brain receive new information.
When to seek support
If the belief is tied to unprocessed trauma, consider therapy alongside coaching. If your beliefs are mostly skill and habit based — visibility, boundaries, clarity, decision-making — coaching is a powerful accelerator. This is exactly the work I do.
